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Chapter Four
How Not to Land
On Your Butt



Mary sat in a comfortable, overstuffed chair in the library of the house reading a large red book with a gold dragon etched on the cover. A black cat peered at her from it’s perch high atop one of the many bookcases that occupied the walls. She paused only to make notes in her ever present notebook.

To the side of the chair sat a stack of books in a variety of colors with names like: ‘Dragons of Doom,’ ‘The Complete Guide Book to Dragons,’ ‘St. George and the Dragon,’ ‘Dragon’s Lair,’ ‘Dragon’s Myth and Mythology,’ ‘The Reluctant Dragon,’ ‘If You See a Dragon Don’t Say Boo,’ ‘My Life as a Dragon,’ ‘What to Feed a Dragon,’ ‘What not to Feed a Dragon,’ and at the very top a thin volume entitled ‘The Do’s and Don’ts of Old Fashioned Rodeo Roping or How Not to Land on Your Butt.’

The books varied in size and shape, and were stacked in such a manner that they teetered back and forth. Phoophie, the dog, sat beside the stack in quiet anticipation. Her eyes followed the pile of books as they swayed to and fro. Her little pink tongue hung out of her mouth giving her face a look of amused curiosity. If only dogs could talk. If only dogs could read.

Missy Hyde passed by the room and saw Mary inside. She also saw the stack of books. It always made her nervous when the girls went into the library with it’s large heavy bookshelves brimming with books. Not because of the damage the shelves could do if they fell, but because of the damage the girls could do to them.

She continued on her way followed closely by a line of teeny little white ducklings who each in turn paused, looked into the library and shook their heads. The head duckling quacked loudly, turned to the other ducklings, made a laughing sound, then proceeded to follow Missy Hyde throughout the house followed closely by his brothers and sisters. Phoophie decided to join the parade and scampered off in their direction, which sent a gust of wind toward the stack of books.

The books swayed harder. First to one side… then to the other… then back again. They tried to maintain their balance, but it was all too much. They gave into the elements and to gravity then plunged unceremoniously to the ground. Mary looked unconcerned.

The sound of things dropping went hugely unnoticed by most children. It was as if the noise that dropping things made was at a pitch that was outside the hearing range of anyone under the age of fourteen.

Mary turned a page and scribbled something in her notebook, when a fwap, fwap, fwapping noise startled her. It was shortly followed by a high pitched giggle.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

Two girls jump roped into the room…

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

And over to Mary.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

Sara and Sadie were tall and lanky, but with very defined muscles. They were without a doubt the prettiest girls at the Jackson Parish Home for Girls. One was black with perfect skin. The other was white with perfect skin. They looked so much alike that they were known as the bobsy twins, which was not so much a pet name as it was a behavioral observation.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

They were always jump roping. Bobbing up and down. They would jump rope in the morning. They would jump rope in the afternoon. They would jump rope in the evening. The other girls often wondered how they ever managed to take a bath or if they even did. Maybe the wind from all of jumping blew off all of the dirt.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

They existed on a steady diet of sweet iced tea, trail mix, and twinkies - the sugar content of which accounted for their over abundance of energy.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

They each sported matching baby blue t-shirts, khaki shorts, pink socks, white tennis shoes, and pigtails. They had matching baby blue jump ropes. They owned an impressive collection of jump ropes in a variety of colors with a matching outfit for each. A grin showing their perfect, sparkling white teeth never left their faces.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

“What’cha doin’?” they asked Mary in unison in a singsong voice. They were not known for their keen observation.

“Reading,” Mary responded back in a matching singsong voice.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

“What’cha reading?” they continued in a singsong voice.

“A book,” replied Mary in total annoyance.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

“What about?” they asked in the same singsong voice.

“People who jump rope,” she answered.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

“What’s it say?” they continued singing.

“It says that jump roping can stunt a girls growth and cause a lethal case of shrinking-of-the-brain disease,” Mary said in reply.

Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

“Okay,” they giggled. They then turned and skipped out through a door on the adjacent wall, giggling as they went. A short time later, Mary heard a Fwap, Fwap, Fwapping on the stairs.

Mary went back to her reading, turned another page in the book and readied her notebook, when she was interrupted by Carol in a panic. She screamed at the top of her lungs.

“Mary…Come quick. You have to come quick. For God’s sake, come quick.”



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