Chapter Ten Dragons, Devils, Angry Angels, and Accusatory Saints

Miss Ida impatiently stood beside a flat cart which held four brown cardboard boxes. One enormous box, one large box, one medium sized box, and one small box. They were lined up from largest to smallest and were a burden on the rusty old cart. They were all covered by a large black tarp with holes torn in the front like great huge eyes.

Miss Ida lifted her left arm and checked her overly large diamond and gold watch that she swore was given to her by the Queen of England in person. The second hand slowly ticked away. She shook her head which sent her wig with it’s colorful hat and the squashed moose on top teetering back and forth.

Missy Hyde ran out of the main house and up to Miss Ida.

Missy Hyde wore a ragged house dress and an apron covered with flour. She carried a medium sized box with two smallish sized boxes balanced on top also covered with flour. In haste, she plopped the boxes on the ground in front of Miss Ida. Flour puffed into the air. She said a quick…

“Well, I think that’s it,“ and she hurried back toward the house and to the cookies that awaited her in the oven.

She paused, turned back, reached into the pocket of the apron and pulled out a large chocolate cookie. She dusted the cookie off and handed it to Miss Ida. She turned back around and raced off.

Miss Ida made an irritated ‘tisking’ noise. She looked at the cookie then placed it in her mouth. She threw the tarp back and bent over to retrieve the boxes. Her wig plopped over to one side and nearly touched the ground. She stood back up and lifted the boxes and placed them on top of the enormous one on the cart. The wig righted itself. The moose was anything but right.

She grabbed the handle of the cart with one hand, and brushed flour off her dress with the other all the while munching on the cookie in her mouth.

Gerald waited at the end of the driveway. He had already packed several boxes into a large white van that read “Jackson Parish Ladies Society,” in big purple block letters on both sides. Below this title was a message that read, ”Dedicated to Serve the Needs of the Poor, Downtrodden, and Downright Ignorant.”

At first glance, it looked like they were donations for the poor. It was a donation of sorts but not for the poor. What they hauled was a very large, very expensive antique set of priceless porcelain china. Miss Ida had made the purchase herself on a weekend shopping trip to Florence, Italy. She purchased it from what she described as a quaint little shop.

It was her donation to the Jackson Parish Country Club. She didn’t think that the old china with it’s hunting dogs leaping to and fro was suitable. Quite unappetizing she thought.

Not that she would know. She had never set foot in the place. It was a gentleman’s club, like every other country club in the south. The only concession that the men of the club made to societal pressures was to change the name from Jackson Parish Men’s Club to Jackson Parish Country Club.

The change didn’t change anything. Women were still turned away to wonder what the men did in there at all hours of the day and night.

Many years ago, a group of wives pooled their money and hired a detective. He was instructed to work his way into the club and report on all activities that he witnessed. He was never heard from again.

Some said that he was disposed of. Others said that he was paid off and now resides in Enid, Oklahoma under an assumed name. In fact, he liked it so much he applied for a job and is now the greens keeper for their golf course. A job that he thoroughly enjoyed. He lived in a small yellow cottage on the other side of the eighteenth hole. He never left. He never needed to.

Miss Ida decided that it was time for a woman of grace to grace the hallowed halls of the Country Club. She of course was referring to herself.

It was a known fact that the only reason that all country clubs everywhere throughout history were ‘Men Only’ was to keep Miss Ida out.

She had the china delivered to the plantation house so she could deliver it to the country club in person. It was a beautiful hand painted set with colorful designs of bible themes. Lots of dragons, devils, angry angels, and accusatory saints. She told everyone that is was painted by Leonardo Da Vinci himself.

The gentlemen could eat and contemplate the fate of their souls. Very appetizing.

In some ways, this donation was more of a bribe. The idea of being the first woman to step into the country club brought one of those rare smiles to Miss Ida’s face as she munched on the cookie.

With that pleasant thought, she started to pull the cart. The cart wobbled from side to side.

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